KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
