What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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