See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
