Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
