maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just gargled with NyQuil
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
