She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
