If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
