If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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