I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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