i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
