I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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