She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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