I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize