We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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