at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
