she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just high enough for therapy.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So much Jack, so little girl.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
