How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
