Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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