Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
