is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
