After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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