True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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