i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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