Im at strip club and am horny
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
