she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
vagina is talking i cant
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
