just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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