Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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