She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
