the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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