weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
