As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
