if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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