So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
