her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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