PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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