Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
