SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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