i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
