Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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