Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
