you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
