Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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