Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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