Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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