you guys were way drunker than both of me
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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