very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize