Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
