I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
