yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
