I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
No subtext here. People are naked.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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