Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I am available for nakedness
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize