it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
