i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
