Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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