i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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