You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
