I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
