i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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