the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
